Braddin
I met Bradinn while working at Bunim-Murray Productions around 2011. I was editing Keeping Up with the Kardashians, season 3 or 4, and he had been working as an editor on The Real World. There was a lot of talk around the building about Bradinn being one of the best up-and-coming young editors at BMP, and his work proved the rumors true.
We worked on one episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York together. And that was that. BMP is a big company, and we drifted in different directions and onto different shows. But when I brought The PartBlack Project to Bradinn’s attention he was willing and happy to participate.
For Bradinn’s portraits I visited his home in Hermosa Beach. He drove his motorcycle out to the edge of the highway, and I followed behind. Pulling over, we captured some great magic-hour images as the sun slowly slipped toward the horizon.
His Q&A is defined by tremendous honesty, openness, and his answers stand out for the strong voice with which Bradinn writes, delivering sentences and paragraphs that sound, uncannily, just like Bradinn.
1) Do you identify as Black? White? Mixed? Bi-Racial? Something else?
It depends on the setting a bit. Personally I identify as both black and as mixed, and depending who I’m talking to I will go either way. I think with white people I tend to just say black unless I feel like fielding the questions that spawn from saying you’re mixed, black people can usually tell I’m mixed so I tend to go with mixed. But there’s no hard and fast on it, it’s just how much I feel like having a conversation about it because “I’m mixed” is guaranteed to have follow up questions…and for all intents and purposes, I’m still a black male in this country. On forms where I need to get credit from an agency, I’m white. But to me personally, I identify strongly as black first and then mixed. I’m not as close to my Chinese ancestry as I could be, certainly not externally. And then identifying with white ancestry is a tricky bag entirely, but I really don’t. I only recently found out what European countries those were, and I can’t say I’m going to be out there with an Irish flag or marching for white issues. So since I’ve always felt so strongly connected to black culture at least in America, I would identify as black first and then mixed.
2) Who are some PartBlack people who have inspired you?
This is tough because I didn’t grow up seeing mixed celebrities and world leaders as mixed people. Of course, you had mixed people on TV like the Cosby Show and Fresh Prince and other things, but on TV they were black characters with two black parents and didn’t interact with the world as mixed. In music, I guess you had Prince but I think it was always just black people and light skinned black people…not really mixed. So growing up I can’t say I had any mixed role models or particular inspirations. I think there are a lot more of them out there today though, looking at political leaders like Barack and Kamala Harris, entertainers like Tracee Ellis Ross and Dwayne Johnson, J. Cole, Halle Berry, even Drake—you could make a substantial list today. But I think being mixed feels like more of a visible thing today than it was when I was younger. I still couldn’t tell you a show on TV about a kid with a black and white parent and their dealings with those issues moving about different ethnic circles that’s on the air right now though.
3) Which public figure, of any ethnicity, has had the greatest influence on your life? (This can be an artist, scientist, musician, filmmaker, philosopher, athlete, politician, writer — anyone.)
When I was maybe 12 or 13, I read a very thorough biography about Malcolm X–not the Alex Haley one–I snagged this one from my dad’s house. It had to be 400-something pages long, but I spent all day and night reading it for weeks. I was floored by his life. Now he was actually kind of mixed himself, but I believe it was really his mother that was mixed the way we talk about it. To see the events that shaped him through various stages of what he was in his life, I wouldn’t say I always found it inspirational or influential at all times, but I was gripped by it. I was inspired by his poise and his leadership. When he found his footing with the Nation of Islam and began speaking out and leading men against injustices minor and major, that really resonated with me and played a major role in my involvement with people of color action groups throughout college and into adulthood. Reading and learning about him, which I continued to do from that point forward really served to propel me into taking the time and the energy to know and understand what was happening in the world, and taking the effort and sometimes making the sacrifices to stand against the things that are wrong. By any means necessary. I’m not a militant or a public speaker by any stretch, but I do believe in that philosophy and I especially believe in his later teachings that were more inclusive to allies, but always as sharp in both critical thinking and in action. I think he played a role every bit as important as Martin did, and I think it’s a shame he’s not celebrated as Martin is, but is instead relegated often to an almost villainous role at times.
4) Are there any fictional characters from film or literature that have influenced your life? How?
Honestly, I could not tell you a mixed fictional character that I would describe as influential at least growing up that had an influence on me. I think today, Tracee Ellis Ross on Blackish would be a great one, but I was a little late for that. There was Peola in Imitation of Life who was passing for white and the woman in Devil in a Blue Dress who did the same, and then there’s Felicia the crackhead on Friday, but these aren’t influential characters. I definitely did not grow up with a mixed character I wanted to be like.
5) What countries have you traveled to, and how does your physical appearance influence how people treat you around the world?
I haven’t noticed different treatment outside of the US per se, but when I go to Latin countries, the locals tend to think I’m Latin and they’ll speak to me in Spanish. In the US I’ve been everything from white and/or black to Puerto Rican to Italian to Arabic….I’m definitely a shade that’s hard to determine a place of origin. Out here in California my negative racial experiences have been more with police than with people. In the midwest, it’s been people. If you look kind of black, you’re black out there for the most part. You’re definitely not white, so you can be subject to some purse clutching or some racial slurring around those types of circles. I haven’t been to enough places outside of the US to be able to say I was treated in a weird way because so far I haven’t had that experience.
6) Are there other PartBlack people in your life, and/or how do you feel when you meet another person who is PartBlack?
I know a pretty decent amount of mixed people. I think number one is my sister. We had different experiences growing up mixed because we hung out in different ethnic circles, but I think on the whole we have a lot of the same themes occuring in our lives. We don’t discuss being mixed a whole lot, but I think we both recognize the shared experience. And over the years I’ve met more and more mixed people. I definitely tend to gravitate towards mixed people who identify with their black side a little more strongly, and tend to push away from mixed people who don’t embrace it. I’m not sure if I’d say it’s unconscious, but you can tell when somebody is out of touch with the black side and if I’m being honest it kind of rubs me the wrong way. Then there’s mixed people who go out of their way to be over the top all black all day never even heard of your white parent, and that rubs me wrong as well. But it’s hard growing up not really fitting into one group or the other, so I can understand to a degree why some people swing wildly one way or the other. I’m sure it’s all circumstantial. I do have a great mixed Radar at least for people who are black and white, I can spot mixed people where a non-mixed person cannot. I think by and large, when mixed people see each other there’s a sense of understanding. Many of us probably had similar issues racially growing up and figuring out who we are and where we fit in. So when I meet another mixed person I’m usually like cool, here is a person I have a bond with off the top whether or not I like their personality.
7) What assumptions do people make about you because of your ethnicity?
I think the assumption people make depends on what they assume I am. I can be a bit racially ambiguous if there aren’t other vocal or dress cues that would suggest I’m at least part black. For the most part though, I think white people know I’m not white so it depends on how they interact with non-white people. I think my most interesting experience of different treatment is with white women. Throughout my life, white women who know me usually are very comfortable with me and don’t see me as a threatening person at all and actually probably very much the opposite of that. White women who don’t know me tend to dodge interaction whether its crossing the street or being tense in whatever limited interaction is happening. It’s probably in part because I’m a large human being, but you gotta think the fact that I’m either black or an unknown quantity plays a role. I don’t have interactions like that with black or brown women. There’s usually a friendly acknowledgement or exchange there for the most part.
As far as black people and black men in particular, it’s a mixed bag. I’ve certainly had black people assume I’m soft because I’m mixed and test me on it. Or assume I had a golden ticket to not deal with black issues…and there are definitely a whole bag of black issues I’ve been blessed to dodge in my life because I’m not dark skinned and subject to that whole other category of treatment, but this is still the country of the one drop rule. And then to others, I’m just light and on the same grind having the same conversations. I think I’ve had the gamut on what is assumed about me based on who is doing the assuming.
8) What are your thoughts on descriptors like light-skinned, high yellow, Mulatto, etc?
Light skinned is fine with me. I prefer to say mixed. In fact, every time you probably want me to say PartBlack, I’ma just say mixed because that’s what it is to me. High yellow and mulatto are so old they’re just comical to me. Quadroon and octaroon. I’d laugh if somebody called me a quadroon. I think the only one people use seriously that I don’t like is “fair.” That sounds like one of those undercover colorism words to me, to say one child is more fair than the other. It suggests more innocence, more purity, more softness. I think it’s a word that plays into the colorism that has hurt black children for generations, spread within our own communities. I think older folks don’t think of it that way because it’s an older term, but I think there’s a bit of poison embedded in it. Oh and mutt is a shitty thing to call somebody. I’ve been called that by people who think they’ve discovered something. I don’t find that funny or clever, it’s a lazy insult.
9) What are your feelings on the N-Word? Do you use it?
When I was young and rapping, I used it a fair amount but pretty much only in raps and not in regular life. I had no reason to use it in real life. I really had no reason to use it rapping either, but I was being a version of a rapper. It was never in my household so it’s not a word that entered regular conversation for me. I think the first time I heard Nigger was watching roots in 3rd or 4th grade, and I had a conversation with my mom–who is white/Chinese– and my stepdad–who is black– about it. I actually just recently had a conversation with my stepdad who told me he specifically made sure not to use it around us. In terms of my feelings on it, I have no problem with black people saying it although it’s bothered me more and more in recent years hearing songs about killing niggas and shooting niggas and doing all kinds of things to niggas that non-black folks were doing to “niggers” for the last 200+ years here. Sounds like something we desperately need to get away from. But the casual use doesn’t bother me, I just don’t usually use it myself. When white people use it though, I don’t get the entitlement to it. White people using the word is dead unless you mean it how your grandparents meant it. How they might still mean it.
I don’t allow white people to say it around me, and if they say it at me, that’s a problem. Nigga or Nigger, there’s not a usage in conversation that is ever appropriate unless you mean it exactly how it was originally meant in an American context, in which case fuck you. But growing up in the midwest, I’ve been called all kinds of nigger even if I am light/mixed. Racists don’t care which half is white, or in my case, which third. I’ve never actually gotten fist fight mad about it either, it’s just like oh ok so you’re an idiot. Let me go ahead and continue with my day while you continue to be insignificant in the world. I suppose if I was already fired up maybe being called a nigger would get me out of my seat, but mostly it’s just a cue that you’re not qualified for meaningful interaction.
10) In your career, how has being PartBlack helped or hurt you?
This is interesting because I think, as a tv/film editor it’s actually probably helped me more than hurt me in the entertainment industry. I think it’s part of what makes me stand out and what makes me memorable when you’re pulling names out of a hat. This is a very homogenous industry, I could name all the black editors I know on my hands. And I’m even talking about just being non-white, not necessarily mixed. It helps that I’m competent in my job, and I believe that in some cases because of some of the differences in my cultural language and surroundings, if you will, those help me to maybe take a creative direction on something from a different angle than what would normally be done. So I think it helps make me stand out in a room, physically and stylistically. I think, unfortunately, it goes differently for black women in this industry though. I think here, like in many walks, black women have to be get along to go along or else they’re loud ghetto bitches. When I have a professional disagreement and its being hashed out, I usually feel like I’m being heard and respected even when that’s not always the case outside of the industry. But black women walk a tightrope with conflict because it can very easily turn into this is a problem person with an attitude who refuses to do what she’s asked. I’m sure it plays similarly for black and part black women, I’m not sure it’s as intense outside of that group.
11) Has ethnicity played a factor in your romantic relationships?
Definitely. When I was in high school, black girls were not feeling me. Light skin was OUT. Mixed, that was just a nonstarter. There may have been a couple here and there who could have been interested, but I was definitely not the right shade or temperament for the black women at my school by and large. Or at least I felt that way. White girls were a whole other story. I dated almost exclusively white girls until college, and part of that is that’s who was in my classes, but part of it is also…I think I was the right mixture of something different enough to feel dangerous or exciting but still familiar enough to be safe. I look threatening if you don’t know me, but if you know me I’m pretty easy going and I was always trying to charm back then. I don’t think it was a novelty thing or I was a cool item to try out or anything like that, I just think that was a factor. I think there’s a few white girls I dated that…I’d be surprised if they would have dated a darker skinned guy, but being mixed in particular had a unique draw where I’m different and comfortable at the same time. In college and even more as an adult, that flipped on its head somewhat. In college, the brown women who were my shade were starting to show interest, and eventually black women too. I think part of that was it took me that long to kind of understand my identity and really embrace it in a way that was outwardly expressive. Maybe that’s something black women picked up on as I gained it, and didn’t like when I was struggling with it, I’m not sure. But definitely as I got older, my romantic interests were increasingly women of color. And there’s a shared cultural language and experience in that I really value now. It was always a subconscious struggle not coming from the same place culturally even if I am part white. I grew up with soul music, I got called nigger enough times when I was a kid to recognize how people work, I played ball on a black team on the southside at a boys and girls club, I made hip hop music throughout my teens with other black kids, I read books about people of color who did great things, I ate soul food on thanksgiving, I watched all 8 episodes of roots over 8 days, you know? A lot of those things I share with my soon-to-be wife, who is black, but I never shared in some of those other relationships and it was noticeably absent at times. I value being able to reminisce over things we both lived, just as much as I value showing her the things I grew up with that are not alike. It’s the balance, I suppose.
12) Growing up, do you feel that you experienced unique challenges being PartBlack?
I think growing up mixed –for me personally– definitely came with a set of challenges I had to sort through more or less on my own. My sister was the only other mixed person I really knew like that for a long time, and we weren’t discussing racial stuff. What’s interesting to me is that when my mother remarried while we were young, she married another black man. My mother is white and Chinese. When they married, we moved out to a new development in the suburbs of Madison, Wisconsin. It was as white as you get. I do often wonder as an adult how I would have been molded in terms of identity if I had a white stepfather. My father is certainly a major source of culture and pride, but I lived with my mom and my stepdad, Matt, so that’s where I was getting the daily exposure at home. He drove me to the southside every other day to put me on the team with other black kids, he had Luther Vandross and Al Green and all that soul music playing on the stereo and passed me a lot of black music. We were going to his hometown in Flint, Michigan visiting with family…that’s the first time I ever had been around chitlins. We watched black shows with Matt and he kept that part of our identity intact on the ground. I can’t see it being the same reality if I had a white stepdad, even if I’d always be connected to my father and that side of the family.
My K-5 school experience, I remember maybe 3 black kids and one of them I hate to say stole my sunglasses. Sedrick. I remember I got them on a trip to either a water park or something like that, they were bright ass green with the park name down the side and next thing I know he’s wearing them acting like they’re not mine. So my friendships with kids like me were pretty much non existent until middle school which was significantly more diverse. I didn’t really think about being mixed all that much until I had to start fitting into different groups at that point. I am 1000% guilty of code switching, but I think it’s a must if you’re a mixed kid and don’t want to choose a side. I think through most of middle school and high school I was pretty well accepted in both groups because I was active in both. But at the same time, I never blended into either group. I was playing ball with my black friends, we were making music, we were roasting…I definitely stayed getting roasted not about being mixed, but probably in part because I was mixed and in a weird socially awkward space trying to be both things separately and at the same time. You get tested for that. My white friends I was in classes with and going to activities with and seeing movies with and dating some of them. But in both experiences I was always keenly aware that I was the only one in the entire room like me. And that can be an advantage and a disadvantage, but it’s definitely a thing. I can stand out, but I can also stand out. And sometimes black folks will give you the well, you aint REALLY black. And white kids would give you the well, you’re not reeeeaaallly black.
So at the end of the day, it’s this identity that I’m proud of and trying to embrace, but you’re never black enough to just be black enough, and you’re not white either. So it’s something I dealt with, mostly I think on a subconscious level or on a level I didn’t care to acknowledge until later in life.
13) In general, are there benefits or challenges to being PartBlack?
There are probably as many benefits as there are challenges to being mixed. I think it’s also easier being mixed today than it was a couple decades ago. There’s more of us, we’re represented, we’re not products of unnatural racial breeding, we’re people. I understand when I need lean more on one identity than another. I definitely wouldn’t say I’ve ever tried to pass, but I probably could with a little bit of grooming. I can be white or black on the phone. I can be non threatening walking through white spaces and I can be a local walking through black neighborhoods. I don’t fit in half as well around Asians but those are my people too. Speaking for myself, I think that once I found peace with who I was as a person and as a mixed person, I was able to navigate through the world with a different clarity and I understood how I could use my powers for good. Good for me at least. But I think it also helps me to navigate conversations with folks who don’t understand black issues because to be straight up, a lot of times folks are either scared to have conversations with black people or they just won’t listen to it. I remember I had a college course on race and the discussion section was maybe 19 white kids, an indian kid, a couple Asian kids, and me. And we’re in there talking about black issues I’m like what would happen if I wasn’t here? And am I really the best representative for black people? But through that and through advocacy work, I really learned to be the best representative I can be. Whatever is said about mixed people or about me specifically, whatever percentage my DNA is, I can tell you I am unequivocally 100% black. I’m just some other things as well. I don’t share the same experiences with all other black people, but neither do black people. Neither do white people with one another. I speak out from my own experience and the experiences of the folks around me.
As far as challenges, it’s all right there. It’s identity. America is a melting pot yes, but it’s also a very binary country in its thinking. Are you black or are you not black? White or nonwhite? Dog person or cat person? Boxers or briefs? So what you do when your identity is not binary and there’s not any kind of discussion about it in your family or in your circles or in media, you have to sort those out on your own. People get old and die trying to figure out who they are and where they come from. I don’t know, I’m jumping into another discussion but the challenges are present from the very first moment you notice you aren’t like the binary options, and whatever age that is, it’s on you to find your place choosing one or straddling both. Or choosing neither and really struggling. Or maybe that’s great I have no idea.
14) Have you ever felt that your life would be easier if you were just one ethnicity?
I spent my whole life wishing I was just black. Then I started wishing I was mixed, but just darker. And to this day I hate being this shade. I’m not a low self confidence person so it’s not like it eats me to a point where I’m getting treatments on my skin, but I really landed in a weird color space that’s just kind of vaguely maybe brown but pale. My little brother on my mom’s side you might not even think he’s mixed. You’d just say he’s black and light skinned. I would have taken that any day. There could be people who would kill to have my color, but then they’d probably be like eh…could we go a little darker actually? The ambiguity is a tired game to play sometimes. And I’ve just never thought it was a pretty color the way caramel skin or deep black is. Black folks can wear anything. I have colors I gotta stay away from. Citrus colors. They say black don’t crack but I feel like this color I have probably cracks. I usually feel better after I’ve been in the sun a bit. I’d love to say I have no color issues about myself because that’s how I’m supposed to feel but I’m just keeping it real. My upper thighs are a nightmare.
15) When was the first time someone referred to you as or directly called you a nigger?
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16) Have you had negative or racist thoughts about people who share any of your ethnicities.
Man honestly I have racist thoughts about all 3 of them whenever it’s convenient for me. Black people, white people, Asian people. Pick any one of those groups, people acting ignorant or being rude or annoying…that’s your people. I don’t know if it’s that way if you’re just primarily belonging in one ethnic group, but I can’t imagine there’s somebody in the world who doesn’t have negative thoughts about people acting up in their own race. I’m probably racist about mixed people too. You’re acting real white right now. You know you’re trying too hard to be black. Doing shit I’m sure I do regularly. It’s just built in, we see groups and we group them. I can just get away with being racist about more people.
I say this all somewhat in jest because I think racism in a systemic sense is not a funny thing, and I certainly don’t discriminate against people because of their race. But yeah if I see a group of black guys who look up to no good, I’m not walking right into that like I’m cool because I’m black too. If I walk into a dive bar and you’re white and wearing camo, you definitely have a cross ready to burn in the back of your car. And you voted Trump. I got all kinds of stuff to say about white liberals. All kinds. And if you’re Asian and you cut me off on the freeway…..like…. Yeah I have the same racist thoughts as everybody else. But I also understand the groups I belong to more intimately than an outsider might, and so it’s not really rooted in I think you’re this way because your skin is this color and I’m going to discriminate against you. I understand the cultural differences and I’ll celebrate all of them. I’ll just also hate on you if you do something I don’t like, and I’ll get away with it.
17) Can you discuss some ways friends or family have made your life more difficult?
I talked about it a little bit discussing my childhood, but I think the most difficult comments are and will always be, “you’re not really black.” Some people mean it for real and some people mean it as a joke and then there’s an in between, and they all hurt. Blackness is something I value, it’s something special. I value my white and Asian sides too, but nobody is running around talking about well you’re not really white. I’d be like uh ok? Like that’s meaningless. But to strip somebody who has encountered what it means to be nonwhite in a country and even in my specific city where there is an inherent systemic belief in white being the default and standard and all other things are other, it’s deflating. I’ve been followed around in stores and searched at the door, I’ve been harrassed by police, I’ve been called a nigger by strangers and by parents of girls I’ve dated, I’ve been in classrooms with white people who have the nerve to ask me how I got there if I don’t play a sport. So if I’m not black, somebody forgot to tell the people treating me like it.
18) Do you feel any obligation to any of the ethnicities or cultures in your background?
I don’t feel a particular obligation to my white or Chinese side beyond celebrating the things my family celebrates. We celebrate Chinese New Year. I love going to Hawaii and visiting my Asian relatives because it’s the only time I’m ever really in touch with that part. I did take a Chinese course in college and it definitely forged something that resembled a connection. But that part is tough because I don’t look Asian so I’m not really rolling with Asian groups. I found out my white ancestry is predominantly Irish, but I don’t feel a strong connection to Ireland. I think it’s really cool, and maybe one day I’ll do a deeper dive into it. I know I’m also French-Canadian heavily. I love all that family. I just don’t really know what that culture is to even be celebrating it. Black culture is what I grew up with, even if it wasn’t always with black people. So I do feel an obligation to represent black culture well in the world, and to fight for it and fight the people who want the worst for it. My children will be black. They’ll also be Chinese and Irish and French Canadian, but in America they’ll be black. So I have an obligation to give them pride in that, and also to teach them what that means historically, positively, negatively.
19) Do you consider yourself political, and in what ways?
I’m definitely political, but I wouldn’t say I’m a partisan. I think the Democratic party probably gives equal fucks about black people as the Republican party except that they need the black vote so they will occasionally trot out some kind of legislative concession. I think a lot of black people are aware of that as well, but where things go wrong in my opinion is when you start thinking that means you shouldn’t vote because nobody cares about your interests. There’s a lot of GOP members who EXPRESSLY want to suppress your interests, so I’ll take lip service from Democrats over overt suppression. I think not voting is anybody’s right, but given what our families just a couple generations ago gave for us to be able to vote, not voting is not an option for me. Not voting gets you Donald Trump, straight up. If black populations had turned out in 2016 the way white women did, Donald Trump wouldn’t have happened. And I really disliked Hillary Clinton too but now we have several decades of court seats that will no doubt continue to chip away at programs for people of color and enforce policies that hurt our communities. I get so tired of black folks who should be much smarter trying to suppress our own voting power by saying this country is racist and it doesn’t matter. Are you kidding me? If black voters turned out every single election, the pressure on legislators to earn our vote through action would be overwhelming. Look at what kind of change we can effect when putting in a real effort. So I think the whole don’t vote because this country is racist shit is stupid, it’s missing the entire point, and it’s only continuing what they wanted you to do to begin with.
Since college, especially when I joined and eventually helped lead a coalition of organizations for students of color, I’ve been very active. I do have mightly social media fingers, but I try to show up for things as well and do more than just complain online. I think there’s important work to be done in media as well, which I am very actively pursuing. The balance between working on things of that nature and working on things that make money is a struggle I’ll probably endure long to come, but it’s worth it.
20) What do you think the world could learn from PartBlack people?
I could say something like I think the world could learn that we’re all the same and we’re all just human beings and we’ll all be gray one day instead of black and white but fuck that. We’re not all the same, we’re a collection of rich and diverse cultures. And while we are definitely getting more mixed especially in this country, I hope we’re not getting more homogenous and I hope there isn’t a desire to get more homogenous. We can celebrate our diversity instead of think of it as a barrier on both sides of that argument. White liberals need to stop saying I’m colorblind I don’t see color we’re all people. It completely ignores the reality that the people who are not the default color have a different experience in the world. It’s great that you can move about and not think about the passes your color is affording you, but old ladies don’t call the cops when you’re hanging out at the park. It bothers me to no end when it’s a white parent saying some colorblind shit about their mixed child. Your child will not receive the default treatment you received, don’t set them up to reject that reality because that reality comes for everybody. It also completely ignores the wealth of culture and experience that makes us so unique. Even white people aren’t just some generic white culture, they’re Irish or French or Polish or German or Norwegian and any number of other things that should be celebrated. We don’t need to pretend we’re all the same, we should embrace the things that make us different and make us such a great collective. I celebrate my own diversity. I’m black, white, and Asian. According to my DNA stuff I’m from Cameroon, Congo, China, Ireland, Scotland, France, Ghana, England, and all kinds of stuff. That’s all dope to me. That should be dope to everybody.
21) What would you tell your 12-year-old self?
I would tell 12 year old me that I’ma figure it out one day. There were days when understanding my identity was harder than it should have been, but it’s all a path to figuring it out for myself. I can be all these things at the same time, and not just one at a time. And anybody with something negative to say about that is struggling with something themselves. Being mixed doesn’t have to be isolating, it can open up worlds other people don’t ever get to access. But you have to embrace it that way.